Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

To provide a better understanding of the very important role methadone plays in the treatment of addiction.
 
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 Methadone Story - I'm doing the best ever now!

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PostSubject: Methadone Story - I'm doing the best ever now!    Sun Feb 10, 2013 10:38 am

My Methadone Experience

I was exposed to drugs and alcohol at a very young age. My first use of alcohol was at 9 years old and drugs was at 12. Regular abuse of drugs began in junior high school.
I went on to finish high school and then my Associates degree from a local community college. I transferred to Central Washington University and finish technical certifications including my MCSE and ITIL. I got a job in software industry, married, bought a home and had a child. I proceeded to fulfill the so-called American dream by building my retirement account, stock portfolio, savings accounts, boats, and motorcycles. But, in reality I chased to fulfill a void that was always there and I could never fill.
Little did anyone know that I was living a double life. My addiction always had a grip on me. I would go to work, pay my mortgage and take care of my responsibilities, while behind closed doors I was doing things no one knew about. Friends, family and colleagues looked up to me and gave me much respect, but they failed to realize that I was dying on inside.
At the age of 30 juggling both worlds became cumbersome. Being the charismatic, intellectual man I am, I intuitively proceeded cramming my lifetime savings of 300,000 into a 1cc syringe. My investment resulted in a healthy track line running my right bicep any junkie could identify.
After the legitimate money dribbled away my lenient misdemeanor crimes resulting in community service snowballed into crippling felony charges with jail sentences. I continued to make devastating life choices, which affected all aspects of my life, including my future, to get another fix. These choices sat quietly in my conscience, turning into a monster of shame, guilt and remorse that only another healthy rig full of tar could cure. The never-ending death cycle would not relent.
Admitting myself to drug and alcohol treatment was just a clever ploy I assumed for a well-needed rest and dry out. But, prior to my arrival at the clinic I went to treatment one last time for real. This time I was serious and I refused to be on any medication to treat my habit/addiction. Every treatment center taught me the 12step program of AA or NA, as did my last resort, bottom of the barrel, public treatment center in the central district called RCKC. I got very serious and gave my life to Christ, went to AA/NA meetings daily, got a sponsor, did service work and worked with new comers. During this painful year I was clean the tormenting anxiety, worry, fear and depression would not dissipate. Sleepless nights led into days of tremendous resistance to cravings that plagued my mind for 365 days. With no serenity and the promises of the AA/NA program failing to flourish I found myself getting relief from a simple little pinprick again.
I came to the clinic as a last resort. I’ve been here a year and have made monumental strides in my professional and personal life. The agonizing mental twists of cravings have been eradicated from my daily life. As a result my days are consumed with being a dependable father, employee and friend. On my downtime long lost activities like fishing, snow boarding and playing guitar are part of my agenda. After evaluating my interests I’m going back to school in the fall. Of course, I supplement clinic with morning readings, church, prayer, AA/NA meetings and constructive self-care. I’m continually collaborating with my clinic consoler about my treatment objectives. When the time is right I will phase out methadone as part of my recovery. The bias and judgmental overtone construed about methadone treatment in AA/NA and the public in general is wrong. At this point methadone is instrumental in my life.

Ed

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PostSubject: Re: Methadone Story - I'm doing the best ever now!    Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:23 pm

Thank you Ed, for sharing a part of you with us. Yesterday I was reading yet another news article about methadone and it's harm to others so when this morning I came here and read your story I was uplifted to hear yet another methadone success story.
There are many successes within the recovery community involving medical maintenance. Many more than some like to admit. Why that is, I'll never know.
All I know is that it does save lives, many many lives. And we are living proof of that.
Welcome to the forum, it is good to have you here.
D



"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"



Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider
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PostSubject: Re: Methadone Story - I'm doing the best ever now!    Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:56 am

Yup, before I entered into the program I was off the hook. I had overdosed 2 times that year... The dope here in WA is really strong. Even the old timers are dying. The program has been a great help to me. I'm documenting my experience now as I withdraw from the program on a different part of the website. God bless my friend and I'll see you in eternity I know that. I lost my other login, so now I'm eddytaylor...
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