Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

To provide a better understanding of the very important role methadone plays in the treatment of addiction.
 
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 Lori 's Song

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Number of posts : 51
Age : 60
Location : Vermont
Registration date : 2009-03-05

PostSubject: Lori 's Song   Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:29 am


Note From Your Administrator:
If you missed our Radio Program August 10 then you missed a very special Guest. She is a member of our Suboxone Forum and even though it was Suboxone which turned out to be her "miracle drug," she did try methadone first. She has just finished publishing her first book, "Lori's Song" and I can share with you, it is one of the best I have ever read. She has the ability to make you feel as you are experiencing what she feels in all her experiences. I did want to share her story with you because soon all of you will be hearing about her and I have no doubt they will make a movie from her book. She has been asked to appear on the Oprah Show and as soon as we know the date we will let you know.
I want to thank her personally for taking the time out of her schedule to appear on our Radio Program and to share her story with us. She has her own website and is busy helping others, too and she comes to our Suboxone Forum to share with others like her self to find the strength to continue on one day to the next for all of us need friends and support. Without saying much more, let her share with you her story.
Deborah Shrira,CEO

LORI'S SONG

This story is ultimately aimed at how I began taking Suboxone and how it has changed my life.But I felt that a little history might enlighten a wider audience of how and why I became addicted. I've written a book regarding my experience that led up to the Suboxone discovery called "Lori's song."
When I first started writing "LORI'S SONG" in 2002 I didn't want to make it a story about mudslinging. I didn't want to make my parents look bad, or write about why I divorced the first two times(due to my sister sleeping with my husbands). This book was only supposed to be about Iran. But as I was told later after the book was finished; IT was unfair to only make myself out to be the bad person. Many of us who are abused either sexually or physically always try to somehow make it out to be OUR FAULT! That is why rather than changing the first chapter I included it in the way I wrote it originally. Maybe society can get a good look at the depth of how people like "us" will go to extreme lengths to protect those who abuse us the most.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm on Suboxone now. My dose is currently 4 (8mg) tablets per day. And I wanted to elucidate as how I discovered this miracle drug.

I was in a POW camp in Iran for 6 weeks, I suffered traumatic brain injuries, back injuries and a severe internal injury due to rape with a rifle barrel. So I had severe pain issues that I thought only Vicodin or Oxycontin would relieve. I also had severe escape issues, that related to my childhood sexual abuse as well as two marriages that involved domestic violence. I also had many run ins with the law which is what ended me up in Iran in the first place. I had written so many false prescriptions and stolen patients medications from the hospital, that I was finally charged with a long list of felonies.
My Iranian husband at the time convinced me that going to Iran would be better than going to prison. (I had no idea that your first time being charged with a crime like this one usually gets probation). I went to Iran in 1998, once there a nightmare unfolded before me. Immediately my husband became physically violent, but I found out a secret past that he had that I never would have guessed or known. He used to execute war veterans in Iran so the Iranian government wouldn't have to pay these men "disability". He was basically a state sponsered terrorist. At one point he sold me for a weekend to one of his friends for sexual slavery not only with that man but several others. They doped me up with heroin and by the time the weekend was over, I had been raped by at least five different men.
Then came 9/11, when the rumors in Iran gave light to what was going to happen in New York. I didn't know it would be New York nor did I even know where, but I knew something was going to happen. So I tried calling home on the 9th,10th and 11th, the operator said, "No international calls being placed at this time". How convenient. The next day my husband told me that we were going back to the USA in case there were any repercussions on Middle Eastern countries or an uprising with Iran.
We showed up at the bus station where we would take a bus to Istanbul then catch a flight to the USA. About 5 minutes after showing our American passports, armed guards showed up in cattle convoy type trucks and blind-folded me and took me one way and my husband the other.... I haven't seen him since. They took me to a camp in the mountains of Shiraz and there I was beat, tortured and raped for approximately six weeks. Once escaping and returning home, I had detoxed by then from the soldiers who gave us heroin injections into our gums to rape us. But my need to escape reality was worse than ever.
In a short synopis, I attempted suicide twice, the last time I drank bleach, luckily neither killed me although my heart stopped four times on the way to the hospital the first time ( I had drank and taken about ninety Tramadol). Well after being back in the USA and on any drugs I could get my hands on, (ie. Ecstacy,Ritalin, Vicodin, Lorcet, Oxycontin and Morphine) I finally met a man. (I was a stripper while taking these drugs ...now you can judge me here if you like but subconsciously or so, my therapist tells me, I truly wanted Mohammad to find me and either kill me or tell me that he had nothing to do with sticking me in that camp.) I didn't care about my life.
My son from a previous marriage had been put in prison. I left him when he was fourteen with the thought of returning sooner than I did, and he committed "Armed Robbery" at the age of seventeen. He has been in prison ever since. He is up for parole March 2010.
After four years of being home, I found a man that I know loves me for me. His name is John and he doesn't drink, smoke or ever did any drugs and he has no felonies on his record. (My Father said,"Congraulations, Lori, it's about time.") He owned a John Deere dealership and sold that to stay home and take of me. He got me through rehabilitation and writing my book which is a bit of catharsis. I am finally realizing writing the book and having it published did make me feel much better.

I have always been on some type of pain pill since I was fifteen and had built up a tolerance as I am sure all you can relate to. I was up to sixty Vicodin a day before I started rehabilitation. I went up to 120mg within days once they started me on methadone and it still wasn't helping my pain.

Suboxone was the miracle I was hoping for. While I know it might not work for all people, it sure did for me. On some days I don't have to take as much as others, but at least it is there for me when I need it.
I'm trying to adjust to a sober life but it's very difficult since I used a lot of the drugs to escape reality, a reality that started out with sexual abuse at the age of ten. I became emancipated at the age of fifteen so I could marry and escape the abuse inflicted by my adopted brother. I know this might sound shallow when you are going through what you are, but trust me it will get better.
I hope by reading this it will encourage other people to share their experiences as well. Take the power it has over you away by sharing with others your story. I was fearful in the beginning but you release the power shame has over your life by sharing it with others and give you others hope to continue on.

Medical Assisted Treatment of America, Inc. and the Suboxone Forum is something that is a necessity. If I hadn't found this website I might have felt totally alone and might have used again. But instead the first day I joined I was greeted so eagerly and sincerely that you know these type of gestures are only from a "sincere" heart. I use the Suboxone Forum as a home base so to speak. I check in daily and try to respond to posts and PM's, this way it takes me back to reality (which is overwhelming now due to the book) It not only reminds me there are people out there willing to help and not expecting anything in return.


Lori Foroozandeh

Available now through Amazon, Barnes & Noble
And Published through
OUTSKIRTS PRESS

Lori is now back and living in the United States, she now spends her days talking to and helping those who suffer from Bi-Polar and addiction. I would like to encourage you to visit her websites.
www.loris-song.com
www.loris-song.com/BiPolar.html
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