THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 9-01-09

Wasted Time

Gwen Smith

The time that I've wasted is my biggest regret.
Spending time in "places" I will never forget.
Just sitting and thinking about the things I have done,
The crying, the laughing, the hurt and the fun.

Now, it's just me dealing with my hard-driven guilt,
Behind a wall of emptiness I've allowed to be built.
I'm trapped in my mind, just wanting to run,
Away from the pain where there's laughter and fun.

But, the chase is over and there's no place to hide,
So much is gone, including my pride.
With reality suddenly right in my face,
I'm scared, alone and stuck in this "place".

Now, memories of the past flash through my head,
and the pain is obvious by the tears that I've shed.
I ask myself why and where I went wrong,
I guess I was weak when I should have been strong.

Pills just to live, I'm now reaping what's sown,
My feelings are lost, afraid to be shown.
As I look at my past, it's so clear to see, the fear that I have,
Afraid to be me.

I live for the day when I'll get a new start,
Fulfilling my dreams I hold deep in my heart.
I know I can make it, I at least have to try,
because I'm heading toward death and I don't want to die.