Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

To provide a better understanding of the very important role methadone plays in the treatment of addiction.
 
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 Methadone gave me my life back

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Melw21
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PostSubject: Methadone Gave Me My Life Back   Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:43 pm

In the last 10 years I have suffered from Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, TMJ, 3 herniated discs, 3 bulging discs, and 2 pinched nerves in my neck. I finally found a pain management doctor who tried several drugs to help me. We ended up with methadone 10 mg as my main pain management drug, using oxycodone 15 mg as my break through medicine. Methadone is the only drug that helped me get back my life. No I am not as agile as I was before my physical issues arose, but I am no longer lying in bed crying or wanting to commit suicide anymore just to get relief from the pain.

If methadone is ever taken off the market I will literally die, I pray that those people who call themselves Politian’s who are for the people, talk to patients like me before making any new laws that could cost lives. Methadone is cheap and is does work if taken on a schedule and you don't mix it with other stuff like alcohol and street drugs. I am able to function without a fuzzy mind and without anyone thinking I am high. It takes most of my pain away and I have learned ways to manage the pain it doesn’t remove. Thinking positive can really help you get through things if you stick with it.

I hope my story helps someone out there who may be suffering like I was. Good Luck and God Bless!
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lilgirllost
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Number of posts : 863
Age : 45
Location : live in Louisiana but attend MMT clinic in Tx
Job/hobbies : COUPONING & GEOCACHING are my favorite past times but I also love reading and spending time with my husband and kids
Humor : I don't have a sense of humor.............
Registration date : 2009-05-25

PostSubject: Methadone gave me my life back   Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:18 am

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I am positive your story will speak to many of the others on the forum.

You are lucky that you found a doc that will work with you and not treat you like a drug seeking addict. So many pain mgt docs out there do just that.

Thanks again for sharing and we are glad to have you as a member of the forum.

ruthann


RuthAnn
aka lilgirllost

We are not bad people trying to become good, we are sick people trying to become well.

Methadone; A Flicker Of Light In The Dark
www.medicalassistedtreatment.org
www.suboxoneassistedtreatment.org
We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you cannot afford to call us, send us an email and
we will call you at our expense.
Office: 1-770-334-3655~ Cell: 1-770-527-9119
Email: mrdeanv@aol.com
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MrsPenguin2005

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Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Tue May 22, 2012 10:44 pm

I am sitting here...very very nervous...i have already done the dishes, set up the coffee for my husband in the morning and am thinking of jumping in the shower...i have already smoked a pack of cigs today when i am supposed to be quitting so i can get my hrt...not going well...i am going to a new methadone clinic in the morning for intake and do not know what to expect...i knew what to expect at my old clinic but not here...i was told that i needed a discharge letter from pain management so today my husband drove 4 hours back and forth but i got it... now it's just a question of whether or not they will dose me tomorrow...i took my last 3 oxycodone this afternoon and already i am feeling some withdrawal...the new clinic says they take medicare and medicaid but i still don't know what the procedure is...i have read many places that medicare and medicaid will not pay for methadone for addiction, only for pain but why would they advertise that they do...my husband took the day off of work tomorrow to take me and we have to drive an hour each way...intake usually takes about 4 hours so i will be good and ready to be dosed by then...we will be leaving the house at 5:15 am to get there by 6:30...i am just very nervous...i always get a bad feeling when i need something so badly...i know i have to let go and let God as i have no control over what wil happen but it's hard for me to do that...will let you all know what happens when i get back...thanks for being here...Barbara (mrs penguin 2005)
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lilgirllost
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Female
Number of posts : 863
Age : 45
Location : live in Louisiana but attend MMT clinic in Tx
Job/hobbies : COUPONING & GEOCACHING are my favorite past times but I also love reading and spending time with my husband and kids
Humor : I don't have a sense of humor.............
Registration date : 2009-05-25

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Wed May 23, 2012 12:45 am

Hang in there! We have all been there and know what you are going through. Just go through it one step at a time and try to not be so hard on yourself. I dread those feelings of withdrawals and even to this day remember how horrible they were, but it is only a matter of hours before you will be there and hopefully get some relief. Keep us all posted and know that we are here for you as well.


RuthAnn
aka lilgirllost

We are not bad people trying to become good, we are sick people trying to become well.

Methadone; A Flicker Of Light In The Dark
www.medicalassistedtreatment.org
www.suboxoneassistedtreatment.org
We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you cannot afford to call us, send us an email and
we will call you at our expense.
Office: 1-770-334-3655~ Cell: 1-770-527-9119
Email: mrdeanv@aol.com
ALL INFORMATION IS KEPT STRICKLY CONFIDENTIAL
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MrsPenguin2005

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Female
Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Wed May 23, 2012 11:26 am

well, things could not have gone any more wrong than they did this morning...got to the new clinic right on time...then i found out that it was only gonna be a "pre-intake" no dose...then i find out my medicaid won't cover it because it is not my primary ins it is my secondary ins and that today's visit was gonna cost $30 and then whenever the hell they WERE gonna let me see the doctor, it was gonna cost another $150 and then $90 a week after that...they said something about some chariry helping me 4 30 days but i could not really hear anything past that because i could not get in to see them today and they didn't know when i could...i lost my f***ing mind...i made my husband take a day off work we could not afford and we drove for an hour and a half one way then back home...on the way home i called my old counselor at my old clinic...of course the one i could not afford in the first place...and asked her if they would take me back now that i have been released from pain management...talk about being screwed...she said she would have to call me back...she finally does and says this is my last chance...i have to come everyday or they will not ever let me come back again...then she tells me not to use anything today so i will be in withdrawal when i get there but hell i am already there but my husband has also lost his mind and told me i better not try to get something on the street after i promised them i wouldn't...so now it will be another 24 hours before i see any dose but at least i know that when i get there tomorrow the intake will take about 4 hours and then they will dose me...one of the pain in the ass things is that my husband cannot take me or he will lose his job and and i have to drive myself but i have no license...so he tells me that i can take the car but to be very careful which of course i will...i wish i did not have to do this but i cannot not go...i am sick as a dog as it is...i will have to take my chances...i just hope there is enough crap in my system that i will test positive in the morning...i last took 3 percocet at 3 pm yesterday but i have been on methadone the whole time so i am hoping that there is not gonna be a problem especially when it was their idea not to use today...i'm nuts right now so i can't write anymore...not looking forward to the next 24 hours...yuk
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MrsPenguin2005

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Female
Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Wed May 23, 2012 2:43 pm

well, funny how a couple of hours can make such a difference...i think my husband and i have figured out the logistics of getting me to the clinic without my having to take the chance of driving w/o a license...if i think i have problems now, they will triple if i have to go to jail so we came up with a legal plan but it involves a friend of ours driving one of our vehicles...we are not too comfortable with that but we are better with that than with me driving...also got a little gift from heaven...my step dad sent us $350 just because...that made my husband feel alittle better about having to pay the clinic plus we have rented out our second bedroom for $100 a week so it looks like we are good to go...how about that...and in the end things will work out the way they are supposed to and as long as i do the next right thing instead of all this scheming, and wheeling and dealing, i feel confident that good things will happen...after all what is the point of getting better if i am just going to live the rest of my life like an addict??? pointless is what it is...
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MrsPenguin2005

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Female
Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Thu May 24, 2012 10:08 am

well, i just got back from the clinic...my husband had to go in late because of the intake but it actually went fairly quickly for me...i had to eat some crow from just about everyone...the clinic director and my counselor in particular but i managed to just shut up and take it...i somehow knew it was coming...they usually send you off the premises for the bloodwork and that could take a couple of hours but thank heavens they said i did not have to go there and they dosed me 25mg which is nothing but it will get up there...i should be to 70 or 80 in a week or so...they said i could come back in 3 hours for another 5mg but the clinic is 30 miles from me and i don't drive so that is out of the question...we have rented out our second bedroom for $100 a week and that will pay for the majority of the clinic and we got a better car which is much better on gas so i think it could work out for me this time...last time i only lasted 8 days and already we saw we were going to go broke but when the pain management only gave me 40mg a day and told me he could not raise it, i knew i had to find a way to go back to the clinic with the least amount of financial and logistical burden on my husband especially since he is the one who has to take me...i have no license due to my drug use...those xanax kick my ass...i think i can drive...i shoplift...and i always forget how many i am taking until it is too late but i don't take them anymore so that is not an issue...anyway they want me to keep track of my systems and times and such but in the beginning for me that is easy because i never start feeling any better for any length of time until i am up to 60 or 70mg...but i don't feel as hopeless as i did yesterday and i know everyday will get a little better until i am stable...if my situation stays like it is i should be able to do it this time and not go back to pain management even tho it is so tempting to be able to use my insurance and get meds for practically nothing but i already know that doesn't work for me so we will see what happens Smile
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MrsPenguin2005

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Female
Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Fri May 25, 2012 8:18 am

cat Just back from my 2nd day to the clinic...only 30mg today and i know that i will not be feeling very well for at least several more days...they said they could not raise me on monday because of the holiday so it will be 40mg for at least 2 days in a row but then it will start to go up again...i have started to realize that, once again, things have turned out the way they were supposed to...the clinic i visited the other day that was 60 miles from me would not take my medicaid or medicare and so i was forced to return to my old clinic where i was paying cash anyway...the new clinic wanted to do a pre-intake and then in a few days come back to do the actual intake and see the doctor...all this was costing money money money...my clinic does not charge an intake fee and the intake IS the actual intake so i was dosed on the same day...sometimes it takes going to the other side to see that the grass is not always greener over there smile...i have started to appreciate my "old" clinic and not be so damn critical about everything...i can be such an asshole at times as my husband would attest to...although it would not hurt to ask for a new counselor since my present one is really being a bitch to me because this is my third time back,,,how can i confide in her when she is being so damn nasty???...makes me want to be nasty right back and i just know that will lead to nothing good so i will give it a few weeks and then make that request if i still feel she is not being objective...after all, that is one of the rights they said you have when you do the intake...i wanted to sit and write this early because i know that in an hour or so, i will not be feeling good again...i am never what they call "symtom free" for any length of time until i am about at 60-70mg and then it doesn't last the whole day...i am comfortable for 24 hours once i am up to about 110mg...i very rarely have to go higher than that...btw, i ran into a guy who came in with me yesterday for his intake who told me his pain management was giving him 150mg of methadone a day in georgia...i do not know if that is just bullshit or if it is because he did not live in florida where they are cracking down A LOT!!! who knows confused ...i just remember thinking that if my doctor had been able to give me 110mg, i would not have had to go to the f***ing lengths to get where i need to be...but that is neither here nor there...it ain't gonna happen so i will stay on the path i am on...i don't feel well, but i do not feel hopeless like i did just a couple of days ago...some of you may be tired of reading my stuff but that's ok...i share for myself as much as i do to help others...it is, what is the word, cathardic??? for me so someone else can always hit the "back" button but since my experiences are real and sometime insane, i feel i am not the only one who goes thru this basket full of crazy at times...besides that, i am bi-polar (i take respiradone) so i am duel diagnosed and hoping i am not the only one...i also have anxiety disorder but i guess i will have to see another doctor for that...i should be on klonapin but i want to check with my clinic first to see if that will keep me from getting my take outs when i am eligible for them...ok enuf for now...more tomorrow...have a great day all...and God bless!!! and btw on a pure curious note...and i truely do not mean to cause anyone to get upset but has anyone heard of this thing called "ibogaine"??? i came across it quite by accident on the web and it sounded like some kind of miracle thing but not legal in the U.S. but you can get it in Mexico...very expensive i hear but in the long run much much cheaper than a lifetime of addiction for younger people...i am 55 so i do not think that unless i was rich that i would spend that kind of money even if i had it...thoughts??? I love you
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MrsPenguin2005

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Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Fri May 25, 2012 3:20 pm

I HAVE NOT FELT WELL SINCE ABOUT 8AM...I DOSED 30MG AT 5:30AM...I FORCED MYSELF TO GET UP AND DO THE HOUSEWORK BUT NOW BESIDES ALL THE OTHER WITHDRAWAL CRAP I USUALLY GET, MY BONES ARE ACHING AND I HAVE THE "JUMPY LEGS"...I AM ALRADY TO DOSE AGAIN BUT I HAVE ABOUT 16 HOURS TO GO...AGAIN...BUMMER...CAN'T WAIT TIL I GET TO MY COMFORTABLE DOSE...USUALLY ABOUT 100-110MG...THAT IS GONNA TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AT LEAST AT 5MG A DAY...ANYONE HAVE ANY THOUGHTS...HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU ALL TO GET COMFY???
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D
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Location : Vermont
Registration date : 2009-03-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Sat May 26, 2012 12:10 am

Thanks for letting us catch up on what has been going on with you since going to the other clinic. I know it really does suck right now. Hopefully soon you will be on the dose that is right for you. Don't' worry about posting too much. That is what we are here for.
The person that you ran into while doing his intake also, if his doctor was giving him that much then why did he give it up? Must have been something for him to leave huh.
Don't second guess yourself. It is easy to do, something else always sounds better but that damn grass isn't always greener. Know what I mean?

Did your clinic have your records from the pain doctor that you were seeing where he was giving you 40mg? Couldn't they go by that to start you out at 40mg to begin with? I mean it isn't like you weren't opiate tolerant to begin with.
If you think you would be better off with another counselor, then ask for a new one if it is what is best for you. Your counselor should be there to support you not rub it into your face that you left and came back again.
I hope your able to find some kind of comfort over the weekend. Look towards the future, it will get better soon.
come back and post as often as you like, we are here for you and ready to listen.
Dee


"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"



Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider
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MrsPenguin2005

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Female
Number of posts : 15
Age : 61
Location : Beverly Hills, FL
Humor : If plan A doesn't work out...don't worry...there are 25 more letters in the alphabet...nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys...
Registration date : 2012-04-05

PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Sun May 27, 2012 8:21 am

good morning all...well i have just returned from day 4 at the clinic and i only now have gotten to 40mg and will stay there tomorrow too since they told me they will not increase the doses on holidays...i'm sorry...did i miss something??? does withdrawal take a vacation day??? i think not...i think they are just lazy because they know it will be crowded and they don't want to bother with us newbees (and by newbee i mean this is my 4th time back and starting over) at the window...they want to get home to their bbq's...thank goodness i will be on a steady dose by christmas or i fear i would be screwed LOL!!! i just found out that i can petition medicare for partial reimbursement for my clinic expenses and someone gave me the possible code i will need so i am excited about that because right now we are having to rent out our second bedroom for $100 a week in order for me to afford the clinic at all...we also had to sell the gasss guzzling jeep and get a little honda so we could bring down that expense...i think we have it covered this time...i hope so anyway...no dee...apparently it does not matter what the hell you are on when you get there...everyone starts out at 25mg...for 2 days they make supplimental dosing available which means you can come back 3 hours later for another 5mg if you need it but that was out of the question for me since i don't drive and the clinic is 35 miles from us or i could be up to 50 right now but i will just crawl along like i always do...i hate the middle of the night when i am so sick i am counting the minutes til we can finally leave the house...my husband is my biggest supporter (he has been sober for 27 years tho not on methadone) and he makes it possible for me to do any of this and for that i am grateful...i'm sure it's no picnic for him to get up everyday and drive the 35 miles to get me there by 4am and then back then go to work plus have some little pothead renting our bedroom but he does it because he loves me and he knows how important it is for me to do this...in a little while i will start the nasty routine all over again...i may fall asleep for about an hour because i do not sleep at night and then wake up in withdrawal and hang around while it gets worse by the hour but knowing that this will only go on a couple of weeks somehow makes it somewhat bareable...thanks for listening bounce
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PostSubject: Re: Methadone gave me my life back   Sat Jun 02, 2012 6:11 pm

Yes, you can ask Medicare for reimbursement of what you have paid for your Methadone. Most clinics don't take medicare but there is no reason why you can't submit the form yourself.It's not guaranteed they will give you the full amount but something is better than nothing. Last year, Deborah submitted her form and got almost every penny that she spent back, this year she did the same thing but was turned down. She passed away before she could send in her appeal but I'd like to think she would have gotten it back again. What is the code that you have, if I may ask. Deborah at one point did give me some codes and I'd be happy to share them with you if you like. Do you have the claim form that you need? If you need anything, please let us know.

I know what you mean by having to wait and count the minutes on the clock and it can be so frustrating. Hopefully you will be at the dose you need to be at and won't have to worry about it. And then you can concentrate on yourself and your husband, when this is over the two of you need to do something nice to celebrate your success. Smiley




"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"



Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider
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