Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

To provide a better understanding of the very important role methadone plays in the treatment of addiction.
 
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mram50



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PostSubject: Hello all you between 10 and 255 character people   Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:52 am

I've been on and off methdone for what seems like forever...15-20 yrs? 6 yrs this time.. I finally stopped taking crap from clinics because i finally found one i don't have to put up with a lot of crap plus i have no takeouts except Sundays. It's easier that way
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PostSubject: Re: Hello all you between 10 and 255 character people   Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:51 pm

Hi mram50
It is good to have you her with us. My name is Dee and I am one of the moderators of the forum.
Please keep posting. it's good to come here and see that someone has posted. Feel free to comment on any of the other posts and if you have any question let us know. We will do what we can to help you find the answers.
I am one of those people that you will meet that has decided to stay on medication for my addiction for as long as I need to. Even if it means taking medication for the rest of my life.
It helps to keep me where I need to be and not out shopping for what will make me feel better.
Yours In Recovery,
Dee


"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"



Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider
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mram50



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Number of posts : 22
Location : Dallas, TX USA
Registration date : 2009-06-07

PostSubject: Re: Hello all you between 10 and 255 character people   Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:02 pm

Dee wrote:
Hi mram50
It is good to have you her with us. My name is Dee and I am one of the moderators of the forum.
Please keep posting. it's good to come here and see that someone has posted. Feel free to comment on any of the other posts and if you have any question let us know. We will do what we can to help you find the answers.
I am one of those people that you will meet that has decided to stay on medication for my addiction for as long as I need to. Even if it means taking medication for the rest of my life.
It helps to keep me where I need to be and not out shopping for what will make me feel better.
Yours In Recovery,
Dee
Thanks,
I've pretty much decided that if I need to be on methadone the rest of my life then that's what I'll have to do. If I can get off I will, but I won't go shopping around unless i am left with utterly no other options.
Occasionally I miss a weekend and end up utterly miserable and that's when shopping seems to come into play and i hate that.
I try to not miss, but I'm also a very heavy sleeper and Saturdays seem to be the day i want to sleep the most.
If i can ever get an ID made without jail i will, but right now with warrants hanging on me for petty things like traffic tickets i cant afford it's a dicey proposition.
No ID, no takeouts.. If that isn't a silly rule i don't know what is, but that also effects so many other portions of my life like no regular job. No bank accounts and can't even cash a check anywhere.. I live in a cash only world because of it and it's extremely limiting.
I want to go take the plunge to try for an ID, but if i go to jail i might just keel over in a cell from heart failure so..I have to ask every day if traffic tickets or old warrants are worth my life.. I've never thought so. :/
Anyway..thanks for the welcome. Wink
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PostSubject: Welcome MRAM50   Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:15 pm


Welcome, mram50,
It is a pleasure to welcome you aboard and to thank you for sharing with us. I replied to you when you shared about your MMT program you were attending in Arlington. I can't understand why others will not share when it would benefit all of us and I just had to tell you I am so proud of you.
I never thought about what they would do if you had no identification. I am sure they would react the same way in every state. First, let me introduce myself to you. My name is Deborah Shrira and I am the Creator of the Forum and of the website, http://www.MedicalAssistedTreatment.org and of course I have a Suboxone Forum and website, http://www.SuboxoneAssistedTreatment.org. If you haven't visited them, please do and let me know your honest opinions about my work. I have been busy filling out Grants and I am hoping to be able to hire more people soon and if you are interested then please do let me know because you are able to post.
I have only Dee and Barbara working with me now and Barbara mainly works on the other forum because she isn't on methadone but I believe in only hiring people with experience but I need some people who are self starters and can talk with others and can certainly post and knows all about methadone. Keep us in mind and if you like this kind of work, then it may be your destiny. People think it is easy to be a Moderator but it is not as simple as one believes. You can work your own hours but as you can see it is not easy to get people to open up and share about themselves and to keep up with what is happening with methadone. I am doing some of all of it now and I' not hadling it as well as I could when I had people working with me but lately we have been so busy I need more help.
I do appreciate each and every member who had stopped and taken the time to join and I only want members who truly believe in methadone and believe it had made a difference in their life. We are not here to debate whether methadone is right or wrong but to help one another face each day along with the discrimination and stigma we face because we take methadone. Many of us are not able to even share with our friends or families and there are some whose husbands are not even aware they take the medication. I want to give them an outlet to share what they feel without being judged because we all need someone to talk to when problems arise especially within our clinics ot with our medication. maybe it is just me who feels this way - I don't know but I do know "Life is like a vampire.." lol! we all need help from time to time and I know it is not healthy to withdraw but you need friends and you need to open up and trust others to accept you for who you really are and there are some people who I doubt even know who they are because they have used for so long and sought approval from others and numbed their feelings so much with alcohol and drugs they don't know what they think or feel. I want to reach out to these and say I am here for you. I think you know life is not fair as I have certainly been hurt by people working for me and by men I loved too much but the greatest injustice I have seen is how people are treated by the staff is many of the MMT Programs.
I agree with you as for as having no identification and you certainly don't want to end up in jail because I have been there for three weeks but I was blessed enough to have been given my methadone but they kept me in the hospital part of the jail in a room all by myself with no television and no books to read and I had to eat their awful food. I almost lost my mind from having no one to talk to and I did manage to get the newspaper to read each day and I read it from beginning to end because I was so bored. They didn't allow me to smoke either and I didn't have any visitors the three weeks I was there because I didn't want anyone to know I was there except for my partner and He was the one who was able to obtain my methadone for me but I can tell you without it I would have died. I am not joking in the least and there have been people who did die in jail when they were denied their methadone.
I am constructing a new website on methadone and because we have physicians alive who believe you can't die from withdrawal, I have many true stories to post and I have researched withdrawal in depth and have some dynamite information to prove it. I will list all of the reputable references to prove it . I don't know how high a dose you are on but it would really bad for you on any dose if you were held there for any length of time. I know how much it would mean to have some form of identiication.
I know it can't be easy going every day because I have been doing it for the last six months because I ended up at a really bad clinic, infact the owners are from Texas and her Father owns clinics in Texas. You do have less problems with the clinic going every day for you know they can't phase you down any further but I just couldn't continue to go every day and keep my work up and finally I did make a transfer when He threatened to discharge me because of the remarks patients made on my website about the clinic I was attending on "Rate Your Program." He wanted me to remove it and write an open apology to Him on my website and I did remove it but I didn't delete all the posts nor the Section and I wrote the apology but I felt as I had betrayed all the people I had encouraged to post and tell the truth about the clinic they attended. He thought I had deleted it all and He was very pleased with the apology but I knew I couldn't live with what I had done and luckily a member who had previously attended the clinic I was at had found another one through my website and she had read some of my posts and knew which clinic I was at and was trying to reach me by phone to let me know to transfer because they knew all about how bad the clinic was where she was attending.
Thank God for my website and for her and I made the transfer and afterwards I put "Rate Your Program "back up and removed the apology. God works through people and we have to be willing to to speak and reach out to others if we want help. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel yet God's light did shine through another person and I'm gald she took the time to reach me and let me know how my website had helped her. I thank you for sharing your situation and if I can do anything at all to help then please do not hesitate to ask. I have only been at the new clinic for two months and yet they increased my dose and restored my takehomes from every day to once weekly because the Doctor has the power to do this because I had been on monthly takehomes for many years until I transferred to the bad clinic which phased me down to every day. It was done out of revenge and I didn't deserve to be phased down to every day but sometimes you must grin and bear it and just believe God will turn it around for you.
I do hope things work out for you better than you foresee now and I wish you the best and thanks for sharing about yourself.
Deborah
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PostSubject: Re: Hello all you between 10 and 255 character people   Thu Jun 11, 2009 1:36 am

mram,
I understand the ID thing. My in my clinic you were supposed to have an Id as well. If you did not, then you did not get your take homes, no matter how long you had been thee and how well you did. That is the way it was.
We were given 90 days to get a State ID if we did not have one we were not to be allowed to attend the clinic.
I had a close friend that had a warrant, she had no ID. She wasn't supposed to be able to dose. But she did talk to our program director about her situation.
He told her that as long as she could come up with some type of picture ID that he could put into her file she could continue to dose. He went out on a limb for her.
He cared about the patients that went to his clinic.
Does your clinic require an ID from your state or can it be from another state? I imagine that is something you have already thought about. It would be great if you could somehow obtain one from another state, so that you could get your take homes.
I don't think it is fair. Really I don't. I am glad though that you are able to dose even though you have to go daily.
Dee


"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"



Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider


Last edited by Dee on Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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mram50



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Number of posts : 22
Location : Dallas, TX USA
Registration date : 2009-06-07

PostSubject: So much to repond to...   Fri Jun 12, 2009 2:17 am

Admin wrote:

Welcome, mram50,
It is a pleasure to welcome you aboard and to thank you for sharing with us. I replied to you when you shared about your MMT program you were attending in Arlington. I can't understand why others will not share when it would benefit all of us and I just had to tell you I am so proud of you.
I never thought about what they would do if you had no identification. I am sure they would react the same way in every state. First, let me introduce myself to you. My name is Deborah Shrira and I am the Creator of the Forum and of the website, http://www.MedicalAssistedTreatment.org and of course I have a Suboxone Forum and website, http://www.SuboxoneAssistedTreatment.org. If you haven't visited them, please do and let me know your honest opinions about my work. I have been busy filling out Grants and I am hoping to be able to hire more people soon and if you are interested then please do let me know because you are able to post.
I have only Dee and Barbara working with me now and Barbara mainly works on the other forum because she isn't on methadone but I believe in only hiring people with experience but I need some people who are self starters and can talk with others and can certainly post and knows all about methadone. Keep us in mind and if you like this kind of work, then it may be your destiny. People think it is easy to be a Moderator but it is not as simple as one believes. You can work your own hours but as you can see it is not easy to get people to open up and share about themselves and to keep up with what is happening with methadone. I am doing some of all of it now and I' not hadling it as well as I could when I had people working with me but lately we have been so busy I need more help.


I have worked on several sites, but ran across so much pettiness so often.. So many people get this little power kick thing going then the cliques kick in and... You know how that works I'm sure.
One even created an entire separate site hell bent on calling me names, stealing all the people who did post and when i did work with another gal they cut my face and hers then superimposed them on porn images..the whole nine yards.. That was back when people could get away with such nonsense. if she tried it now i would gladly take everything she owns for no other reason than to teach her a lesson, but...I dunno.. So much work, so little appreciation so many times...
Remember when atwatchdog first had a forum that wasn't a rentaboard? I installed it, but never got a moments worth of credit.. Then again, i said some stupid things, made a lot of mistakes about methadone, etc..
I refuse to let clinics walk on me and will go back to the streets if need be, but it helps living in a big town too.. at least there are options here. (Dallas area) On the same hand i also learned how to bite my tongue even when i know it hurts.. Getting forced back to the streets is NO fun.. I ought to know..I've done it more than once.
pale
I'm not saying start trouble for the sake of starting trouble because some clinics will boot people out because they can and they always win no matter how petty it may seem. When you're back to the streets your recourse shrinks to nil usually..
But when i KNOW I'm right and can back it up I refuse to back down to tin star, crack head counselors..I had one recently and fought back and won. I had 5 yrs clean and he was new..I nailed his lies to the wall.
cheers
There are things i know and a lot i don't know. I'm not big on the technical aspects of medicine and i don't think methadone is the begining and end of all medication, but the bottom line is it works and keeps people off the streets. When someone tells me I'm just swapping addictions they never know how wrong they can be. I let them know I'll take the trade any day because i don't have to be sick every 6 hours, don't have to hang out in dope hopuses with theives, dope users, prostitutes and every other form of city ilk. That alone is enough, but unfortuneately there is a huge bunch out there hell bent on ending methadone for everyone. I'll fight them to my dying last breath if for no other reason then to save my own skin if need be. They forget all about dirty needles, back rooms with guns, the threat every day of getting robbed and killed of ODing of injecting some poison because some dealer is broke and needs an extra $50 so he'll cut whatever garbage he can find and so on.. You know it all I'm sure..



[quote]
I do appreciate each and every member who had stopped and taken the time to join and I only want members who truly believe in methadone and believe it had made a difference in their life. We are not here to debate whether methadone is right or wrong but to help one another face each day along with the discrimination and stigma we face because we take methadone. Many of us are not able to even share with our friends or families and there are some whose husbands are not even aware they take the medication. I want to give them an outlet to share what they feel without being judged because we all need someone to talk to when problems arise especially within our clinics ot with our medication. maybe it is just me who feels this way - I don't know but I do know "Life is like a vampire.." lol! we all need help from time to time and I know it is not healthy to withdraw but you need friends and you need to open up and trust others to accept you for who you really are and there are some people who I doubt even know who they are because they have used for so long and sought approval from others and numbed their feelings so much with alcohol and drugs they don't know what they think or feel. I want to reach out to these and say I am here for you. I think you know life is not fair as I have certainly been hurt by people working for me and by men I loved too much but the greatest injustice I have seen is how people are treated by the staff is many of the MMT Programs.
I agree with you as for as having no identification and you certainly don't want to end up in jail because I have been there for three weeks but I was blessed enough to have been given my methadone but they kept me in the hospital part of the jail in a room all by myself with no television and no books to read and I had to eat their awful food. I almost lost my mind from having no one to talk to and I did manage to get the newspaper to read each day and I read it from beginning to end because I was so bored. They didn't allow me to smoke either and I didn't have any visitors the three weeks I was there because I didn't want anyone to know I was there except for my partner and He was the one who was able to obtain my methadone for me but I can tell you without it I would have died. I am not joking in the least and there have been people who did die in jail when they were denied their methadone.[/qiote]

I would like to see federal legislation so ALL patients can get ANY legally prescribed medication in any jail. Refusing methadone to patients in jail is double jepardy at least and cruel and inhumain treatment. i think it qualifies under torture rules and should.




Quote :
I am constructing a new website on methadone and because we have physicians alive who believe you can't die from withdrawal, I have many true stories to post and I have researched withdrawal in depth and have some dynamite information to prove it. I will list all of the reputable references to prove it . I don't know how high a dose you are on but it would really bad for you on any dose if you were held there for any length of time. I know how much it would mean to have some form of identiication.
I know it can't be easy going every day because I have been doing it for the last six months because I ended up at a really bad clinic, infact the owners are from Texas and her Father owns clinics in Texas. You do have less problems with the clinic going every day for you know they can't phase you down any further but I just couldn't continue to go every day and keep my work up and finally I did make a transfer when He threatened to discharge me because of the remarks patients made on my website about the clinic I was attending on "Rate Your Program." He wanted me to remove it and write an open apology to Him on my website and I did remove it but I didn't delete all the posts nor the Section and I wrote the apology but I felt as I had betrayed all the people I had encouraged to post and tell the truth about the clinic they attended. He thought I had deleted it all and He was very pleased with the apology but I knew I couldn't live with what I had done and luckily a member who had previously attended the clinic I was at had found another one through my website and she had read some of my posts and knew which clinic I was at and was trying to reach me by phone to let me know to transfer because they knew all about how bad the clinic was where she was attending.
Thank God for my website and for her and I made the transfer and afterwards I put "Rate Your Program "back up and removed the apology. God works through people and we have to be willing to to speak and reach out to others if we want help. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel yet God's light did shine through another person and I'm gald she took the time to reach me and let me know how my website had helped her. I thank you for sharing your situation and if I can do anything at all to help then please do not hesitate to ask. I have only been at the new clinic for two months and yet they increased my dose and restored my takehomes from every day to once weekly because the Doctor has the power to do this because I had been on monthly takehomes for many years until I transferred to the bad clinic which phased me down to every day. It was done out of revenge and I didn't deserve to be phased down to every day but sometimes you must grin and bear it and just believe God will turn it around for you.
I do hope things work out for you better than you foresee now and I wish you the best and thanks for sharing about yourself.
Deborah
Well, I am atheist, but as long as it's not crammed down my throat that's fine by me. As long as i can occasionally express my views I'm OK and will try REAL hard to not clash with yoyur beliefs. Wink I know that's hard, but as John Adams said, To see with faith is to close the eye of reason. I think everyone can agree that reason is has been long missing in the methadone debate to often.

I don't condone nor do I promote methadone for anyone. If someone can get clean and off of it without having to go back to the streets then they should, but nobody should ever be forced to just quit methadone arbitrarily or for any reason other than misbehavior or breaking of certain laws..also misbehavior.. You know what i mean i hope.. I'm VERY tired right now so I'm not thinking real clear....
Well, being so tired I'm going to close right now and say thanks for the invitation.. I'm missing Charlie Rose so..off to go watch the ol boob tube and I'l return tomorrow most likely. Wink

Take care. geek...and..I have no clue how the text got so screwed up.. just dig through and perhaps it'll make sense.
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mram50



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PostSubject: to dee   Fri Jun 12, 2009 2:22 am

I'm not going to even attempt to use the quote function again, but I believe i can go to another state, but getting there would be tough.. Poverty keeps many things from happening too..
Right now I'm falling asleep here so I'll try to catch up tomorrow..

Thanks both of you for your comments. They are very much appreciated. Wink


----->Off to the ol rack of nails and the flea hotel (bed).. My eyes are blurring up from fatigue.

Ta te ta..
Mart
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