Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

Methadone: A Flicker Of Light In The Dark

To provide a better understanding of the very important role methadone plays in the treatment of addiction.
 
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 Any Advice?

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iamme

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Number of posts : 18
Age : 30
Location : Michigan
Job/hobbies : I'm a full time mom and i just got landed a job at the new restaurant in town! I paint, Play Piano, and enjoy exercising as long as its fun and not torture LOL
Humor : I have a good sense of humor as long as the jokes aren't mean or personal
Registration date : 2011-12-13

PostSubject: Any Advice?   Thu Jan 12, 2012 10:29 am

My dose isn't "holding" me the way it was when i first started treatment 250days ago. I'm at 125mgs daily and i have just moved to phase three of my treatment which means i only have to go to my clinic 3 days a week. Seeing as how my clinic is 2hours away from my home (thats the CLOSEST one) it is very nice not having to make that 4hour round trip every single day. I'm noticing night sweats, jitters, irritability, the normal symptoms... They seem to start around 2pm if i dose around 6am. I would have to have a peak and trough if i wanted to increase my dose, and i would lose my take outs- just until i was at a stable dose. I don't want to lose my take outs so i basically lied to my doctor at my med review yesterday. I think he knew it too because when i told him i wasn't having any symptoms at all he gave me a funny look and said "Really? None?" So i told him they weren't bad enough to up my dose. Which is true. I'm mildly uncomfortable but it isn't affecting my life and i don't feel i'm at risk as far as using drugs is concerned.
Another reason i don't want to increase my dose anymore is that i don't want to be on methadone forever. I would like to get off of it someday and i know that the higher my dose is, the longer its going to take to wean me off it. I know that eventually i WILL have to deal with some unpleasant detox symptoms when i start tapering, and thats why i'm trying to deal with them right now.
On another note, I've spoke to people who never got off methadone because when they were tapering they would get to a certain dose and have to go back up because they were too uncomfortable and didn't want to turn back to drugs. I hope i won't be one of those people, but its hard to say. I'd rather stay on methadone for the rest of my life than go back to using. It's just not worth risking everything i've worked so hard to accomplish.
I don't know what to do. Should i increase my dose for now and stop thinking about what it's going to be like when i try tapering? I don't plan on tapering for at least another year so there's no point in being uncomfortable... Or should i suck it up and keep my dose as low as i can without being REALLY sick so it's easier for me to decrease my dose when the time comes? My body's telling me this dose isn't right but my minds telling me i should deal with it so i can get off this medicine someday.
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D
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Number of posts : 484
Age : 58
Location : Vermont
Registration date : 2009-03-05

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:56 pm

Honestly, I believe you would be much better off if you would try to stay in the here and now and not try to think too far ahead into the future in regards to your tapering.
You need to be at a dose that is a stable dose for you so that you can continue to work on your recovery without having to worry about feeling withdrawal in the afternoons. What is important is your comfort. It is okay sometimes to be uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable in certain situations is what enables us to move on. But not in regards to your dose. Am I making any sense here?
It sounds as if the doctor may have noticed how you were feeling anyway. If he is willing to increase your dose to a comfortable level, then I would ask for it.
I know that driving that far to the clinic is not exactly what you may want to do right now, but better to put in for the increase now than have to fight for it later on down the road.
Don't worry about the tapering issue right now. As you said, you don't feel as if you are ready. Take that step when you are. For now, work on now.
Let us know how things go, we are always here and happy to help out whenever possible.




"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"



Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider
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lilgirllost
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Female
Number of posts : 863
Age : 44
Location : live in Louisiana but attend MMT clinic in Tx
Job/hobbies : COUPONING & GEOCACHING are my favorite past times but I also love reading and spending time with my husband and kids
Humor : I don't have a sense of humor.............
Registration date : 2009-05-25

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Thu Jan 12, 2012 9:59 pm

I agree w/Dee. You shouldn't be worrying about detox right now when you haven't even gotten on a stable dose yet. If you have ANY hope of ever getting off, you have got to get to a dose that is holding you and stay at it long enough to work on your addiction issues. Otherwise, you are having to focus too much on feeling uncomfortable and you can't possibly ever get to the point where you would be ready to detox.

ALSO, are you in any type of cousenling, 12 step type program or therapy? A lot of ppl will disagree with me here, but I firmly believe that opiate replacement therapy is no good to anyone unless you can work on the real reason behind your addiction. Otherwise you may detox and get off, but you are running a major risk of relapse if you haven't worked on what drove you to your addiction to begin with.

On another note, when I first started MMT, I too only wanted to stay on it for a short amount of time and then live a life free of any medications. However, over time, I realize that may not be so easy. I still have the desire to get off methadone, but I also know that there are those who have done such damage to their opiate receptors in the brain, that they may NEVER heal. It is similar to someone w/type 2 diabetes. This is usually something you end up with becuase of poor diet, exercise and/or weight gain. The body no longer produces it's own insulin to properly break down the sugar in the body. (similar with opiate abusers who have damaged the opiate receptors in the brain so that they no longer react properly anymore) There are those diabedics who will be able to change their diet, get some exercise and control their illness this way with no medication. Again, not unlike an addict who can go cold turkey or whatever and manage to keep their addiction under control with no medication. Then there are those diabedics who will need medication along with diet and excercise changes. They will have to take medication for a time but eventually the body heals and they start producing their own insulin again. They are able to get off the medications and then have no more problems with their diabetes or be able to manage it w/diet and excerise alone. Again, someone on ORT (opiate replacement therapy) may have to take medication for a while but eventually the opiate receptors heal and they are able to function normally again. BUT there are those whose bodies are so damaged by diabetes that the type 2 diabedic will have to stay on medication for the rest of their lives. Their bodies will never heal properly and start producing the insulin again. In this same manner, there are those on ORT who are in the same situation. They have damaged their opiate receptors beyond repair and will always need some type of medication to manage their illness.

Either way, there is NO SHAME! You would never tell that type 2 diabedic that it was their fault and lack of self control that led them to have diabetes and you certainly would never tell them to stop taking the insulin that helps control their disease. You should not tell that to an opaite addict who is managing their addiction with ORT meds either.

I'm not saying you have no hope of ever getting off, but one thing you ALWAYS hear no matter if you are in medication therapy or traditional therapy is TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME and you are jumping ahead worrying about going too high on your dose and all that, and you have NEVER gotten to the point where you were on a stable dose anyway.

You would be throwing away all your hard work if you try to worry about that kind of thing at this point.

Speak to your counselor and/or clinic doc, be honest with them and truthful with them. I too drive 2 hrs one way to my clinic and right now, I have gone from once a month to once a week because I started having issues w/craving and such. It would be such a shame to not be honest with them and end up relapsing or never getting off methdaone becuase you were not able to do the program like it was intended for.

We are here for you either way, but I think you are being too hard on yourself.

Hope this has helped some and let us know how things go.


RuthAnn
aka lilgirllost

We are not bad people trying to become good, we are sick people trying to become well.

Methadone; A Flicker Of Light In The Dark
www.medicalassistedtreatment.org
www.suboxoneassistedtreatment.org
We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you cannot afford to call us, send us an email and
we will call you at our expense.
Office: 1-770-334-3655~ Cell: 1-770-527-9119
Email: mrdeanv@aol.com
ALL INFORMATION IS KEPT STRICKLY CONFIDENTIAL
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Finallyachance

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Number of posts : 68
Location : Over the rainbow
Registration date : 2011-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Fri Jan 13, 2012 7:22 pm

You need the increase. No doubt about it. I have been dealing with this for over a year. My story is in several post here you should read it if you can. I finally got a peak and trough but I left the old clinic before the results got back and at the new clinic which turned out to be worse did not do anything with my results which showed me to be a fast metabolizer the old clinic ask me to come back there had been a bunch of misunderstandings etc...They fired one of the nurses that had given me such a raw deal etc...I went back and they have been increasing me 5 mgs a week and it is helping so much. I have to see the doc again next week if I need anymore and I do but I am happy to say the 20 mgs I have gotten so far has improved my treatment so much.
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iamme

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Female
Number of posts : 18
Age : 30
Location : Michigan
Job/hobbies : I'm a full time mom and i just got landed a job at the new restaurant in town! I paint, Play Piano, and enjoy exercising as long as its fun and not torture LOL
Humor : I have a good sense of humor as long as the jokes aren't mean or personal
Registration date : 2011-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:11 am

My clinic doesn't give you any trouble with dose increase. i WILL have to have the peak and trough and temporarily lose my takeouts but they dont deny anyone a dose increase-even if the peak and trough shows that you're fine. The doc says that he would rather listen to what a patient says they're experiencing and go by that than to deny someone an increase and risk them turning back to dope. The peak and trough is just procedure.

I guess i'm wondering if i would just be delaying the inevitable if i increased my dose... At this point i'm not even sure if i will get off methadone. I know i would like to, but theres a part of me that thinks(Like ruthann said)I've done too much damage to my brain. Im very young. i'm almost 25, but i started taking pain meds heavily just before i turned 14. 11 and a half years is a very long time, especially when you're young and i think your brain is still developing when you're in your teens, isnt it?

My husband wants me to stay on as long as i need to. he doesn't want me to rush and says that if i have to stay on it for years he totally supports that. He doesn't want to see me rush through my treatment and relapse. My mom is supportive also, but i don't think she completely understands that this medicine is the only thing standing between who i am now and who i use to be. She keeps asking when i'm going to start tapering, when does the doctor want to start decreasing my dose, etc... I finally told her that the doctor doesn't make that decision, I do and i'm not ready. RuthAnn, you're absolutely right when you compared addiction to a disease like diabetes. Some people need medicine and some don't. I'm one of those who do and i'm not ashamed of that. I'm actually proud to say i'm on methadone because that means i want to get well. I'm strong enough to regain control of my life. Not everyone has that drive, you know?

I think i'll talk to the doc at my next med review. If i'm sick i'll see him before. All you have to do is call and say you want to discuss your dose and he'll squeeze you in the next day. that's another thing thats great with my clinic. They go out of their way to make sure the clients are happy and keep coming back. I really think a lot of everyone there. They've been nothing short of amazing.

Thanks for replying. I knew all along that i needed an increase, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else as well... I'll keep posting. I hope to hear from you all again.

Lotsa Luv!
Ashley Collings from Michigan
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iamme

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Female
Number of posts : 18
Age : 30
Location : Michigan
Job/hobbies : I'm a full time mom and i just got landed a job at the new restaurant in town! I paint, Play Piano, and enjoy exercising as long as its fun and not torture LOL
Humor : I have a good sense of humor as long as the jokes aren't mean or personal
Registration date : 2011-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:18 am

Oh, and RuthAnn- Yes. I see a counselor Bi-weekly. I use to have group every other friday also, but i "graduated" LOL. I didn't feel i needed group, and my counselor and the group leader agreed. It's required that you see a counselor every 2 weeks at minimum. I agree with you, i think counseling is very important to a persons recovery. You can't just expect the medication to fix everything! Very Happy
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lilgirllost
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Female
Number of posts : 863
Age : 44
Location : live in Louisiana but attend MMT clinic in Tx
Job/hobbies : COUPONING & GEOCACHING are my favorite past times but I also love reading and spending time with my husband and kids
Humor : I don't have a sense of humor.............
Registration date : 2009-05-25

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:46 pm

Hey Ashley,

Your situation sounds so much like mine. I started abusing when I was about 16. I was given them for legit pain, but it wasn't long when I realized they helped emotional pain as well as physical pain. By the time I was 17 or 18 I was a full blown addict. I abused them until I was 29 years old so that was a long time.

I too would like to get off methadone eventually (and that was my intentions when I first got on it) but I realize that just may not be possible anymore. I still HOPE I can, but I realize it may not happen.

You are so lucky to have your husband so supportive (mine is but he is the only family mbr I have who is) and your mom. My mom was supportive when I first got on it, but she can't understand why I am STILL on it after all these years and doesn't understand/agree with the fact that I may always be on it.

Also if you doc/clinic staff is so supportive and all and won't give you issues about an increase then I think you seriously should consider it. You've come too far to let it all go to waste now especially if all it would have taken to keep you on the "straight and narrow" was an increase.

I'm glad you came and spoke to us, keep me posted on what you decide and I hope to hear from you around the forum more often.


RuthAnn
aka lilgirllost

We are not bad people trying to become good, we are sick people trying to become well.

Methadone; A Flicker Of Light In The Dark
www.medicalassistedtreatment.org
www.suboxoneassistedtreatment.org
We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you cannot afford to call us, send us an email and
we will call you at our expense.
Office: 1-770-334-3655~ Cell: 1-770-527-9119
Email: mrdeanv@aol.com
ALL INFORMATION IS KEPT STRICKLY CONFIDENTIAL
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tokeNsmoke420

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Number of posts : 13
Location : Detroit, Mi aka The "D"!!
Job/hobbies : Stay @ home Mama
Humor : pervert...;P
Registration date : 2012-07-21

PostSubject: Re: Any Advice?   Sun Jul 22, 2012 12:41 pm

iamme (Ashley): I am also in Michigan. I go to the sacred heart methadone clinic in Madison Heights. Where are you located and what clinic do you go to?? (if you want to tell me that is Razz )

Anyway, I am new here so I will post about me in the other thread!! Smile (I dont wanna write out my life story in your thread and take over or something Crying or Very sad )
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