Regina1968
Number of posts : 17
Age : 55
Location : Mayfield, KY
Job/hobbies : Disabled due to Lupus and Sciatica
Registration date : 2010-01-19
 | | Subject: Re: Rate your lines!?! Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:42 pm | |
| Thank you Ruth ann for the kind words. I do feel the guilt everyday. But I always made sure he was taken care of, and he did come first. But, the pills were second. I drug him around all over looking for and buying pills. Then once I had them, I felt like playing with him and I really think that he understood that I needed them to do anything. When I started the clinic in September of 09, I sat down with Lukas and told him what the clinic was and explained to him that it was the end of the life he knew before and would be a whole lot better. Then I asked Lukas to forgive me for not being the best mom I could be and he just threw his arms around me and said" you are the best mom and always have been and I am glad that you were smart enough to get help!!" I cried my eyes out as he consolde me! How smart for an eight year old! I think he has learned lessons from me and my mistakes already!! Thanks again Ruth Ann!! | |
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D
Admin
Number of posts : 484
Age : 65
Location : Vermont
Registration date : 2009-03-05
| | Subject: Re: Rate your lines!?! Thu Feb 18, 2010 12:54 pm | |
| Regina,
When you spoke of your son Lucas and what he said to you after you sat down and talked to him it reminded me so much of my own son Kristopher. He went through very much of the same thing with me as your Lucas did with you (as most of our children have). While I tried to do everything I could with him it was still hard until I was able to get something into my system to enable me to manage the day and like you, where I went he went.
Kristopher has been a godsend to me. I could never imagine a day without him. He lost his father to suicide at the young age of 5. When I finally stopped using he was 9. He will turn 17 this May. He has grown up to be a fine young man and everyday he tells me how much he loves me. I am not sure how much he actually remember of those earlier years, I'm sure more than he would ever tell me.
The guilt of my past reminds me of what I don't want to repeat. I want to be here for my son, my family and grandchildren to come. | |
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