Thought for the Day 12/14/09 STAYING POSITIVE IN ADDICTION RECOVERY

I was finding it tough, even as recently as last week, to keep a positive outlook on my life. I had gone through the "pink cloud" stage of recovery and had ended up in the gray. It just started to feel as if the rest of my life was going to be this big struggle against drugs and alcohol and it all felt a little overwhelming.

It dawned on me that usually if I had a bad week like I just did I would do anything and everything to escape the reality of it. Feeling depressed or really feeling anything at all was never acceptable to me. People aren't supposed to feel down. I must be weired because I don't walk around smiling and whistling all the time. This is really how I thought. It's like I was convinced there was some perfect world out there that I wasn't able to be a part of. How unfair, why me? That is when I felt the need to use a mood altering substance. If I couldn't obtain total happiness on my own then surely drugs would do the trick.

Something happened though, I made it through my little funk and I'm feeling hopeful and positive again. I didn't use any mood altering substances to stuff my feelings or numb myself into oblivion. I just allowed myself to feel down.

I woke up one morning, the sun was shining and it was actually warm outside. I found that I had a smile on my face. Right then, I knew it was over. I had made it through. The saying "this too shall pass" was made for situations just like this.
Staying positive throughout addiction recovery is not always going to be easy. It's just not. There are going to be times in my life that I feel down, sad, mad or embarrassed. What I need to remember is this is all part of being human. Feelings are healthy. Sure sometimes they may be uncomfortable but they will always pass.

By remembering that the bad feelings are temporary I am being positive. I'm saying ok, I feel like crap right now and I'm not very happy but soon I will be happy again. Whether it is one day from now or ten days from now, I will be happy again.
I had recently red a book called The Spirituality of Imperfection. I absolutely loved it. Every time I would read a chapter or two I gained a new understanding about life and feelings and well, spirituality. I would feel very positive after reading some of this book.

The thing that I thought was so great about The Spirituality of Imperfection is that the author understood that spirituality is not something that can be explained in any formal definition. Examples of spirituality can only be given through storytelling. The stories give some sort of understanding of what it is to be spiritual. We can identify with stories and by identifying we can understand the meaning
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The Spirituality of Imperfection makes a great point through stories. Being perfect is not obtainable and as soon as we truly accept that the happier we will be in life.

Taken from "WHAT WINNERS DO"

I too have felt that way before and I think that is why this one spoke to me so strongly.

We look around at others and think "if I could just be happy like so and so....." or "if I could just have the life that so and so has....." then maybe I can be happy.

So many times the people we are longing to be like are smiling on the outside when they may have worse things going on the inside than we could ever imagine!

ANYONE WHO IS HAPPY ALL THE TIME IS HIDING SOMETHING and at the very least they are not being honest with themselves! There is absolutely NO WAY that someone always has things going their way and that they are always happy. Real life has ups and downs. Things are going to come our way that make us sad or hurt or angry and normal people deal with those emotions and get through them. We have to find new ways to deal with those feelings rather than dope ourselves up and try to bury those feelings.

Not only that, but we have GOT to learn to be happy with ourself. If not, then we will never get better and no amount of drugs, alcohol, money or even a move to a new place is ever going to make us happy. Those same feelings of inadequacy will follow us to these new circumstances and before long, we are right back to where we were trying to get away from. The same ugly feelings of inadequacy and feeling that we are lacking something will still be there when the high wears off or the money is gone or a few months have gone by in that new place we moved to.

Learn to love yourself with all your faults and imperfections. As corny as it sounds, take joy in the little things in life and know that we deserve happiness too. Yeah, we may have done some pretty crummy things in the middle of our active addiction but we don't have to live under those regrets anymore. Make amends to those you need to make amends to and DO NOT forget YOURSELF! You need to forgive youself and allow yourself to let it go. You can not keep beating yourself up about past mistakes. You can start from this point right here to live the way you want to live and be happy.