Always striving to do better

9 months ago I started going to a methadone clinic. Before that, I was living a day by day, struggle to keep high. My drugs of choice were morphine and oxy, mostly morphine. My life had become a game of cat and mouse. ( I was the cat and morphine was the mouse.) Everyday, I would need my fix, otherwise, I wouldn't be able to, go to work or even move. After four years of needing more and spending more and more; My only choice was to, go to jail, die or join a methadone clinic.

I didn't really want to go to a clinic. I would have to be clean of morphine and life without my pills was unimaginable. I made it to the clinic reluctantly. Since then, I have been clean of everything (besides methadone). Never have I ever, lived a clean lifestyle.

Now, I feel like I have a new lease on life. I haven't felt this good since before I started messing around with drugs, 13 years ago. It is alot easier to get up and do activities or go to work. My new life is gradually turning into the one I always wanted, an average, clean lifestyle. No more drinkin', druggin' or sniffin'!!! A NEW Life. I am blessed.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. You know, it really doesn't matter how you came to treatment or the fact that you were reluctant to in the beginning. You made it and realized you could live a better life and have made the necessary changes. THAT is what matters. You should be proud of yourself!

As cheesy as it sounds it is so true....that first step is the hardest one. Once you make that initial step and get into a program that works for you, that is when we start to see things clearly and we realize how much better off we are.

I didn't want to live my life without my opiates either, the only reason I went into treatment was because I was having to steal, lie and cheat to get my drugs and I was hurting so many ppl. If I could get all the pills I wanted and I didn't have to do anything illegal to get them, I probably would still be doing them. I know how crazy and selfish that must sound.....it was because of my desperation that I went into MMT and I am so glad I did. I am powerless over opiates, I know that and as long as I stay on MMT, I know I will be ok. Maybe there will come a time when I can live without MMT, but for now, it is what keeps me sane, out of trouble and able to enjoy my life with my husband and kids without wasting so much of my days being miserable and/or in pain from w/drawals and/or off seeking out drugs.

Thanks again for sharing and I hope we hear from you again in the future!

I totally agree with you girllost! It doesn't matter how we got into the program as long as we got into it! I really didn't notice what a strain I was putting on my life, until I was clean and looked back at it.

I really love this site and I am so happy that I found other people trying to stay clean. It is nice to have someone to talk to if I have a question about my clinic. So far, my clinic has been great. If I have any questions, I will make sure to ask about it!

Sure do enjoy everyones posts!! Thanks Everyone!