Thought for the Day 11/15/10 Denial is not a character flaw

Denial: Not a Character Defect

By: Larry Smith CAS, Author of Capt. Larry Smith’s Daily Life Plan Journal


We have all heard the saying, “Denial is just not a river in Egypt.” Nor, is denial a character defect. Denial is the brain’s automatic defense mechanism that can be triggered by many things, such as a traumatic event, a dangerous situation or having some one accuse you of something.

Everyone experiences some form of denial. Alcoholics and addicts use many forms of denial to constantly protect their right to continue drinking and using — despite the negative consequences of their addictions.

Denial is progressive in that it becomes more pervasive as chemical dependency progresses. Overtime, alcoholics and addicts develop massive denial systems that become practically impossible to penetrate. An alcoholic that continues to drink in spite of a diagnosis of cirrhosis is a perfect example.

In my first article in May with BehavioralHealthCentral.com, A Neurological Case for Recovering People to Journal, I discussed how the brain is hi-jacked by addiction. This electrical-chemical hijacking takes place as neurons wire together by repeated use of addictive chemicals. This is why the denial that addicts and alcoholics experience may go far beyond the typical denial that is thought of in non-addicted people.

The result of an addicted person not dealing with denial is devastating. As recovery professionals, we need to be well versed in identifying, processing and walking our clients through their denial.

Looking at one’s self deeply and honestly may be very painful…and our ego wants no part of it.

Sigmund Freud defined defense mechanisms as a tactic developed by the ego to protect us against anxiety. Defense mechanisms safeguard the mind against feelings and thoughts that are too difficult to process.

We often label people as “being in denial,” but what does that mean?

(Note: The definitions used in this article are my interpretations from many different sources. I used the best descriptions that apply to intent of this article.)

Listed are several definitions of denial:

•Denial is the “action of declaring” something to be untrue.
•Denial is the refusal of something requested or desired.
•Denial is the assertion that an allegation if false (disavowal).
•Denial is the negation of logic by refusing to admit to the truth or reality of something unpleasant.
In psychology, the following definition applies to chemical dependency, addictive behaviors, obsessive thinking or co-dependency.

Denial is the failure of a person to allow unacceptable or painful truths to be admitted into consciousness — denial is used as a “defense mechanism” in which confrontation with a personal problem or reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality.

There are many types of defense mechanisms related to denial.

•Repression acts to keep out conscious awareness such as repressed memories of abuse.
•Suppression forces unwanted information out of our awareness, usually done so unconsciously.
Also, closely related to denial are defense mechanisms such as, projection, rationalization, rejection and reaction formation. I’ll discuss some of these in more detail as I address denial patterns.

Types of denial patterns

•Avoidance
•Minimizing
•Rationalizing (Justifying)
•Deflective (Blaming others)
•Isolative thinking
I recognize these patterns not only in my counseling, but also in personal self-evaluation. Awareness of the different types of denial, and knowing how to illustrate how we use denial, is very beneficial when working with clients.

Avoidance comes in several flavors. Saying nothing, playing dumb, or talking about anything but the obvious problem are prime examples of avoidance. Many will try to avoid facing the reality by creating conflicts to draw attention away from the core problems.

Minimizing a problem is when a person admits that there is a little problem however, “It is not that bad.” The mere acknowledgement of the problem indicates progress. Counselors can then build on the above statement by simply asking, “How bad is it?” and “What happens next?”

Rationalizing is the cognitive process in which a person recognizes the problem and then verbalizes the reasons for the behavior. The person attempts to justify the behavior as consistent and normal. It is excusing reactionary behavior with the acknowledged problem or issue. My favorite rationalization (which I used) is “If you were married to my wife you’d drink to!” Counselors can focus on the underlying cause of the problem, rather than focus on the problem itself, with a question like, “Why is your marriage failing?” Then ask, “Is there a chance your drinking or using has anything to do with it?”

Not taking responsibility for one’s addiction and then blaming others for the inevitable relapses is a common form of deflective denial. An example of such deflection would be a statement such as, “I wasn’t going to use, but my friend stopped by and he always talks me into it… you know, he’s really an addict.”

An example of isolative thinking would be making the statement, “I don’t know how it happened, I just ended up passing out,” or “It’s not my fault I’m late, I lost track of time.”

Emotional triggers for denial

Shame is a painful emotional state caused by toxic negative feelings about one’s self, and is associated with dishonor and disgrace. Shame is a conditioned believe based on the past. Although shame is considered to be a conscious emotion, it will trigger denial quickly because of the intense pain associated with shame.

Guilt is considered a learned behavior — a personal judgment of one’s own action, or lack thereof. Though still a trigger for denial, the regret involved is not self- internalized deeply as with shame. Shame equates to “being a bad person” while guilt is derived from making a mistake in judgment or action.

Embarrassment is an emotional state a person experiences upon having a socially or professionally unacceptable act or condition witnessed or revealed to others

Anger is an emotion related to feelings of annoyance, displeasure and hostility. There are many forms of anger to include authentic anger and toxic anger. The usual source of anger is fear.

Fear is the emotional response to a perceived threat. Fear is a basic survival mechanism and can be associated with the “fight or flight” response in the brain. Fear is a basic human emotion that is the catalyst for anger, resentments and prejudices.

Dealing with client denial

1.Ask your clients several focused open-ended questions.
2.Listen for consistencies and inconsistencies.
3.Process the information the client has given you so you can easily point out their denial patterns at a later time.
4.Identify denial to the client as it occurs if it is interfering with an immediate solution.
5.Educate clients on denial and role-play so they can observe denial in others.
The key word to dealing with denial is “awareness.” Denial is an unavoidable human defense mechanism. Awareness of our own denial patterns will help us “catch ourselves in the act.” It also helps us indentify, process and help others with denial.

There is much more complex information on denial and defense mechanism available. Knowing all the terms and labels are not as important as recognizing denial and knowing how to deal with it.

The worst thing we can deny ourselves is the acceptance that we are worthy of happy and healthy life.

the original link to this is

http://behavioralhealthcentral.com/index.php/20100809234321/Professional-Perspective/denial-not-a-character-defect.html