I'm getting off Methadone. I'm going to document my experience here.

Oh, basically after I got down to 50mg I started replacing again. I couldn't stop and my life went down hill!!! My spirit, my joy and everything else went dry. That was my experience. I don't think I was ready and was rushing it. I believe that if I attempt it again I need to have been clean for 3 years and stable in work, relationships, diet/weight and things like that. I rushed getting off, i decided prematurely and did't listen to my internal voice that told me to slow down.

Good to see you and have you back and hear that things are going well for you.
I have an appointment this morning but would like to respond proper when I get back. We have the snow storm moving in and there are some things I need to get taken care of.
I hope you will stay in touch.
Dee

Oh I am so glad to see you on here and D...Its me from a.t.watchdog.com and I just decided to pop over here as I had this site on my mind telling someone how I had reached out to you all when I first got involved in MMT. We are still doing pretty well on the "DAWG' Forum...Carol's MSO is in bad need of support and attendance or I am afraid that forum will be a place only in our past soon...I had to just reset my password so I got to go change it before I forget...

Come see the new and improved at watchdog forum although they did all these updates and it's a bit tricky signing in the first time with your old email and password...gotta do password reset...I am going to read thru all these posts here and start visiting here again too now that I see its back to business I was missing you guys for a while...Is everything okay Dee is lilgirl okay?

And nomoretears Did you get back on MMT????

Finallyachance wrote:

And nomo
retears Did you get back on MMT????

All,

I have got back on MMT and am doing great. I also got some other help apart from MMT. I have a combined solution to my recovery now. It's been 5 years now since I truly asked God for a new and different life! It has been a long and painful process. But, I'm going so well right now. I have a new career, which pays really well. I have changed so much and I'm really in touch with myself and my emotions. The love I have in my heart for my family is so strong! I care about others and my friendships now! I have become a totally different person over the past 5 years. I use to be a womanizer, party animal full of pride and lacked anything that closely resembled a real man. Over this time I have virtues, morals and values and good character! I'm not boasting I'm just sharing how wonderful it is to live this way. To have a clear conciseness and care for my loved ones. I will admit when I started getting off methadone during this post I was putting the cart before the horse! It's ok, but I'm going to give it some more time!

I have been single for two years now! This has been the best thing I have ever done. Since I was 13 I have always had a girlfriend. I depended on having one feeling lost with out one to have next to me. During this time single I have got to know and discover who I am. I actually read books now! Ha ha. I go fishing a lot and exercise. I have built a life for myself now.

Thanks everyone for your posts. I will say that without MMT I would be a mess. My doctor, not from the clinic, said she thinks I need an opiate in my life. That was nice to hear from another doctor not apart of the clinic. I'm going to stay on now and not jump the gun on getting off. I didn't realize how much it was doing for me when I was on it. When you take it and don't feel anything you think oh I don't need this. Then you go down and realize how much benefit you were getting from the program!

God bless you all!

It is good to hear that everything is going so well for you. Sometimes it takes a really deep look into ourselves to see what we need and it sounds like you are right on track. Keep up the good work.
Dee

Hi All!

Oh my it's been so long since I posted on here and I had posted my entire experience of trying to get off methadone! Well, I'm still on the program, but I'm doing wonderful! I also started doing a therapy call EMDR. I'm still in recovery and this is just another part I'm doing to continue growing. The methadone program has been so good for me. I have changed and am changing every year. It's exciting because I've been single for a long time for the first time in my life. Since I was 12 I had girlfriends always. They were always long term, a year of more. I was addicted to having a girl to love me. But, I've grown into an entirely new man. The next relationship I'm in will be for life I just know it. I've learned to love myself over this time. I've learned to enjoy life single. But, during this time my relationships with my family(son and mother) and friends are so positive! I can't begin to explain my gratitude, because I'm so much more forgiving. I give grace to my friends and loved ones now and am not so easily hurt. I could just go on and on about the personal internal changes that have enabled me to become a good friend, father and son! I'm so happy and hopeful and have a since of piece I've NEVER had before unless I just shot some brown. The six years of work I've put in since beginning the MMT has been worth it! I've done lots of meetings, church, reading, praying and therapy including cognitive behavior, which i still use.

If you are on MMT use it how it was designed! It's a real treatment program that enabled me to work on me. I'm 43 and I just know that this last half of my life is going to be incredible. It already has been and I'm enjoying connections and relationships and the love in them that I haven't tapped into before so deeply. I have a feeling my relationships are going to continue to grow and flourish, which is exciting. I mean the amount of love between my son and I is incredible! He is 16 years old and hugs me, tells me he loves me ect etc. I know I'm sounding mushy and half crazy, but recovery has been SO rewarding. I'm being filled up with joy and it's not because I got a new car, girl or set of threads.

My plan is still to get off methadone. But, I'm not rushing at this point because I'm doing so well. When the time is right I believe I will know inside of me.

Thanks everybody for this site and D who takes the time to manage it etc.